My Wife Looked Back

Unlike my wife, I am no stranger to the surroundings of evil people, the ones who add to the definition of words like notorious and inhumane; individuals who have heightened the emotions of jealousy even way beyond the points of where God himself intended for it to be.

See, I entered this world among a class of humans who were deemed from the gutters of society, scums of the earth, menaces, degenerates, criminal minded and plain corrupted.

And as I became more conscious of my surroundings, I realized that most of what was said about us were true, but what wasn’t true was that the negative behaviour which had been exercised and passed down from generations to generations weren’t all by genetic traits, while 50% might have been, the other 50% were mere cultural exercises adapted by ignorant fools who were brainwashed to not think outside of the box; in other words, an ambitious escape could save them, the same way it saved me.

Earlier in my life I was ashamed of my origin, but today I am neither proud nor ashamed; however, I appreciated the wisdom and the knowledge gained from my experiences. I am still yet to grasp its full understanding, but I am happy to have the wisdom and knowledge which enforces that ‘If I do not know where I am running from, then I do not know where I am running to.’

One of the benefits of being from the gutters, is that I can recognize gutters and gutter-rats, who try to pass themselves off as decency, quicker than my wife, whose origin I put at about 220 degrees from mine on the compass.

So it is no surprised that for years, my wife was puzzled about my existence and social behaviour; she met me as a hobo, a loner without family ties.

In my search for peace and happiness, I found Hope, who was a big piece of the Bliss Puzzle which I was on a quest of putting together. But Hope was normal, she did not have the same life as I did growing up, so she had very little, if any, reason at all, to create personal disciplines and life’s guides.

She never understood why I had no connection with my parents nor relatives, and it was even more puzzling to her when she learnt that the disconnection was of my personal choice.

I have always told my wife that after having a ‘wake-up call’ twenty years earlier, I adopted, what I like to call The Discipline of Change, in order to gain a custom-made life for myself; a life directed by my ambitions. The Discipline of Change involves People, Places and Things, and in adopting it, it meant that I had to rid myself of everyone known to me previously, without exceptions.

And even though, all of my relatives weren’t deemed bad people, by me, all had to go. But notably, some were the ideal product of the gutters; hateful, jealous and hypocritical without reasons.

Still, I did not expect my wife of a sheltered upbringing to understand the security gained from my disciplines nor the severity and detriments which can be caused by jealousy from the vultures among us in society, so our lives continued with me constantly watching over her in ways she never realized, even with her eyes open; being her husband and protector.

After I initially met with the immediate family of my wife, I kept a cordial relationship with them for years, but with a safe distance; my distance was so safe that even ten years on, none quite knew anything about me nor ever had the opportunity of a one on one conversation that exceeded half an hour.

My distance created suspicion of having something to hide, but I didn’t care.

The true reason for my distance was simple, some of them, I had seen their kind before, I knew these people and these were the kind of people I was running from.

My wife tried on many occasions, for me, to give them a chance, but I knew better, my wife could not see them the way I saw them and such conversations always ended with me saying, “It would be hypocritical of me to embrace your family after I deliberately divorced mine, especially with the fact that I see similar qualities in them.”

Just like mine, not all showed signs that I should be weary of, but one or two was enough for me to keep my distance.

Still, I would never put a wedge between my wife and her family; after all, she had no personal reason to refrain, so I had no reason to suggest it.

But on my quest, with Hope, life continued to get better, we became a family with one child, established businesses which aided us to travel around the world, living in a few different Countries; Hope and I called it the Good Life.

And her mother, especially, was pleased. But it was around the same time that my wife saw the first signs of jealousy, toward her, emerged from within her family.

And as life changed for my wife, she also had to experience acts of being sabotaged and backstabbed by family members; her naivety had led her to hug, smile and talk to the devil in disguise which resulted in emotional bruises and mental anguishes.

It wasn’t anything that we couldn’t bounce back from, but it was enough for me to encouraged my discipline upon her.

Immediately, I suggested that she should cut all ties, but my wife thought that my suggestion was extreme and contested it. Despite her wounds, she still could not accept that her own siblings possessed what appeared almost like hate for her.

I remember saying to my wife, “Only a fool give their proven enemies second chances” and “If they missed at their first opportunity, it is almost certain that they will succeed on any second chance.”

But my wife refused to accept such talks and said, “It sounds like a declaration of war, they are only my family!” which I replied “Okay!”

I knew that I still had to watch over her, but I also knew that if I am proven right, it was also a risk of us being extremely wounded, I did not know what category of hurt, but I expected a level of severity.

It had been two years since we were in the same locality as her family, and having things somewhat my way, meant our whereabouts had been kept private, needless to say that life’s goodness had not stopped raining on us.

Well, up until the time my wife suggested a visit to her family.

After agreeing to the revisit, my wife contacted and made known to her family that we would be arriving.

Interestingly, a string of unfortunate occurrences followed; first, my wife lost her passport, which we had to spend a fortune to immediately replace, then on the day of traveling I accidentally left my bag containing valuables at the train station, in haste and hope to find the bag still at the station, I left the train and caught a cab, which cost another fortune, the bag was not found. I then directed the taxi driver to hurry and take me home, in attempt to get items which could substitute my lost valuables, and in haste the driver got a ticket for speeding.

I felt bad for the driver and paid for the ticket; by the time I met up back with my wife and son, at the airport, I was exhausted; it was as if we were not supposed to take that trip.

And indeed, the signs were right.

We counted our losses took off and landed.

Despite never being stopped at an airport before, after scanning our passports, this time we were stopped and interrogated. And even though some of the questions were a little out of the norm, my wife and I, at the time, thought it was just airport procedure.

The questions varied from our whereabouts abroad to the local address which we would be staying, the validity of passports and permits for other countries etc.; after about forty-five minutes we were good to go and left asking ourselves, “What was that all about?”

Little did we know that the answer to such a nonchalant question would be arriving the next day.

The next day my wife and I were visited by Police Officers, who claim anonymous information had led them to believe that we were at the address, involved in a variety of crimes, which included child abuse of our son and depriving him of education.

For a moment silence stunned the air as we stared at each other in disbelief of what we were hearing, disbelief maybe, but for me, I saw this coming from a distance.

Our mistakes were obvious:

1. (For the sake of love) I broke my discipline
2. A proven enemy got a second chance (and did not miss)
3. My wife looked back

And even though we were not arrested, we underwent hours of interrogations, which caused us to disclosed details of our private affairs, before the Police Officers ruled it as False Allegation and a Malicious Attempt.

Having to see our child interrogated and questioned about possible inhumane treatment, me, my wife and son were equally injured, but have no other choice than to make it a lesson.

A lesson, I didn’t have to learn twice, but for the sake of Hope, a big part of my Bliss, it was a worthy sacrifice. We licked our wounds to better days, and my wife now have her very own reason, like me, never to look back.

Commodity of Hope

Commodity has always been a promise for success. And because of this, the commercial world not only revolves around the variant of created commodities, but it continues to crave more new inventions of commodities in its spectrum.

The most known commodities are, diamond, gold, silver, copper, along with other precious metals and gems, not forgetting the most recent top ranking of them all, oil. Water, food and clothes are also commodities, energy, real estates, transportation, furniture and electronics are all qualified entities for commodities.

Interestingly, money itself is a commodity, even though the ambitious definition of the word’s core is ‘item(s) to trade for the earning of money’. But without going into too much mind-boggling details of how that supposed to be of logics, I will just leave it at that, and reconfirm that money is indeed a considered commodity no more and no less than people are considered as commodities.

The whole purpose of commodity is to provide a service of trade which benefit both parties; thus, it has been the modelled route to success.

There are many avenues to success, but the main avenue that has been forced upon so-called ‘modern societies’ is education. And don’t be fooled, education is also a commodity, just as much as ignorance and literacy are commodities.

Fortunate are some of us who inherited intellectual genes; with or without schools, your intelligence would still enhance from your senses and life experiences, like a muscle exercising in a gym. And unfortunate are those who lacked that gene and had to be tutored to understand why one plus one is equal to two; because without that, it relies on your luck, luck of being born to a particular family, luck of being brought up in a particular environment or even luck of being able to attend the right school. And the right school does not come as a cheap trade.

See, the world has always rotated on the concepts of God and the Devil, Goodies and Baddies, Strong and Weak, Rich and Poor, Black and White. And if you agree with that, then do not turn a blind eye to Intellect and Ignorant.

It is a designed system in order to have the wheels of the modern world turning; in other words, the moment some of us were conceived, our future of failing or being successful, despite how strong or weak we may be, in any of the above mentioned notions, was already determined.

Determined, but not solid; like in any good vs. evil situation, there is always an element of surprise and the Designer have always had to go back to his or her drawing board, to devise a new strategy. In this case, it is the genetically Intellects who suffer the pre-designed failure plan, who often upset the usual operation of things. Likewise, life being fair, the Idiot with the high position of which he holds no real qualification, other than favouritism, is certain to do what he is genetically programmed to do, and eventually make a mess of things.

The logics of the design is true as much as it is corrupt. True: because if everyone possessed the same level of wealth or success, then no one would be privileged and the corruption of greed would probably be a crime.

Still, the most valuable commodity in the world, is one which has never been labelled as a commodity, and again, it not being labelled as a commodity is by design.

It cannot be bought nor sold, because we were all born with it in our soul like all other God-given emotions, exercise it and it too can be as strong as you desire, and deprive it and it will become weak, tired and eventually dormant, but it will never go away, it will never die, because it is a part of us naturally.

The business sector of society thrive and is in favour of us exercising it and the small percentage of us who have learnt that it is used to enslave and extort us, wishes for us to make it weak and dormant.

I am talking about the commodity of Hope.

Hope has comforted some of us throughout our darkest times, our weakest moments and our hungriest days; Hope is the commodity which make us gamble with our lives and our possessions. Hope is really no difference than Maybe, but without Hope we wouldn’t attend schools, churches or mosques, without hope we wouldn’t work, we wouldn’t try, we wouldn’t make efforts; without Hope, we wouldn’t believe, we wouldn’t trust, we wouldn’t even give the benefit of doubts.

As long as we possess Hope, we are trading, often time to a certain loss, because with just Hope, we are banking on nothing.

Footnote:
Unless your wife’s name, such as mine, is Hope who have brought me nothing less than years of a companionship filled with love, happiness, joyous delights and children. In a case like this, Hope, still being a commodity holds the highest value which have enriched my life and is not for trade or sale.